Top 10 Dating Tips for Women




  1. Be yourself
So this is an obvious one. You want to be who you truly are while dating and in a relationship because you want to make sure that the man who is falling for you, is actually falling for you, not some made up version of who you think you should be. Being yourself is so important because you are going to mess up, you are going to have faults, just like everybody else does. But if this person can see those in you, and still have a working relationship anyway, isn't that the best for everybody? The other thing I want to warn though, is, it is good not too reveal too much right away. This isn't about hiding who you are, it's about getting to know, and to trust the other person before you share too much. When you tell your whole life story on the first date, it makes you look like someone who is overly trusting. A complete stranger frankly has not earned the trust it takes for you to share your life stories and secrets. And if you are sharing those things, the other thing it might make the other person think is that you do this with everyone. They will feel special when you chose to tell them things because they ARE special, and because they have earned your trust.
  1. Love yourself first
I know, everybody says that. But why do they say it? Well, when we don't love ourself first, we can get into trouble by being insecure, being overly jealous, picking the wrong person based on what we think we deserve, and not what we actually deserve. If you love yourself, you are likely to chose someone who treats you well, you are likely to be secure, confident, and treat them well. I have seen relationships work out without the love yourself first part, but it is difficult. Relationships are difficult enough as it is. Figure out who you are and what's great about you, and then you will have the capacity to love someone else fully.
  1. Be honest
Some people want to gloss over or sugar coat everything. Or they don't want to talk about important stuff the first few dates, then 10 dates go by and they still don't say what they feel or are thinking. Be honest, like I said, don't tell your whole life story on the first date, but be honest with yourself, and with them. For example if you know in your heart you want to have kids, but the person you're dating doesn't, that's only going to escalate as time goes on. What do you truly want? What do you truly need? That leads me to my next topic:
  1. Know what you want first
How can you fully be honest if you don't know what you want first? Sometimes we don't fully know what we want until we are already years into a relationship. But if you are single right now (or even dating someone) I highly encourage you to write down in a journal or somewhere, some things you want and need in your life. Do you want to be married? Have kids? Do you want to travel, go back to school, move across the country? Figure out what you want and need in your life, and then you will be far more likely to draw a person who wants those things into your life.
  1. Don't beat yourself up
We've all made mistakes in dating. To a certain extent, we all carry some baggage from past relationships, our childhood, etc. We have references for everything. However, with your past comes knowledge, challenges you've overcome, and confidence. Let your past be that for you. What have you overcome? What have you gotten yourself out of that was not good for you? What have you learned? The past can be a source of great pride if you tell yourself how much you've learned, that you don't have to be back there where there was pain and mistakes. Imagine it like mountains you've traveled over to get you to the beautiful, abundant land you're now living in. Don't beat yourself up for your past, if you have learned from it, that's remarkable. Don't let that old way of thinking seep into your new life. You are a different, wiser, happier person now.
  1. Be hard to get
It's not good to let someone think they've won you over easily. It's really not. That may sound bad, but I look at it this way: the guy is thinking to myself, if it was this easy to win her over, maybe she's easily won over by other men too? It's a beautiful and wonderful thing to be in a relationship where you're calling, texting, and seeing each other all the time, but that shouldn't happen after the first date. And don't expect the guy to do all those things right away either. You're getting to know each other. Your best friend wasn't your best friend after one time of hanging out, right? No, she slowly showed you she was a good person, and trustworthy, worthy of your time, effort and energy. A relationship is no different. Let him SHOW you he's a good guy, not just tell you.
  1. Leave your past in the past
This is similar to #5. Remember that not all guys are alike. If you were mistreated in the past, that doesn't mean you have to be now. One thing that will really help you in this regard is if you see ways you were mistreated before, what did that look like? What were the signs? If you see any red flags, put a halt on it. You now have that capability. You know what you absolutely will not stand for, so just be on the look out. But don't beat up the sweet loving guy you're dating now because you've dated some jerks in the past. Just be cautious, but don't be impossible.
  1. Look for someone who wants ultimately to have the same lifestyle you want
This plays off of #4 a little bit. If you want to have lots of kids, and settle down in your hometown, that's not going to work well with somebody whose goal is to make lots of money and travel the world. Those are two different lifestyles. You may find that you and the person you're dating don't want exactly the same thing, but do you want similar lifestyles? Do things he wants, and the things you want work together? If not, as great a guy as he might be, don't pursue that kind of relationship. You will both end up feeling frustrated in the long run, unless you can come to some kind of solution that works for both of you.
  1. Remember that looks aren't everything
I know men can get caught up in looks, but so can women. While it is important to be attracted to the person you settle down with, it's more important that you actually like them. On top of that, our looks change as we get older. You want a good, quality person, not just someone who looks good in a suit. He has to have similar goals, and treat you well.
  1. Have fun!
Dating can be fun. Some also look as it as a daunting task. Don't see it like that, because the energy you give off will appear disillusioned. Can you have fun with it? Think about meeting new people, trying new restaurants or hobbies. You're looking for a good person to settle down with, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the journey along the way.

Bonus: Don't rush!
Some couples I know did rush, and they turned out okay. The reason I say not to rush, is that some not-so-great people operate by rushing into something. I have seen situations where people who are addicts, narcissists, etc, love bomb, and rush their way into a relationship. Why do they do that? Well, they know a good thing when they see it, and they know that if they can rush the feelings of love and intimacy, once the truth comes out about what a wreck their life actually is, the woman will be too in love at that point to leave. And it does happen. Sometimes two perfectly healthy, happy people can rush in because they just know that they know. However, just a warning, this is how narcissists operate too. They want to get a tight grip on their mate before they can truly figure out what's going on, and once they do, they feel they are already in too deep. Just be careful in this regard, remember, it's about them SHOWING you they are a trustworthy, happy, loving human being.



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