10 Things for Single Moms to Do While Sheltering in Place

1. Find time for yourself

For any mom, it can be quite difficult to find time to spend alone. However, if you have the ability to do that, I highly recommend it. For me that looks like waking up at 5 am. I know that schedule doesn't work for everyone (I do also go to bed early). However, I cherish this time. I have time to drink my herbal tea, read my Bible, journal, work on my business..It is a life-changing time. It can be easier as the kids get older. When they are so small, babies especially, you might feel like you're doing everything you can just to keep them fed and clean. I get that. And if that's you, please know that the best thing you can do for yourself, is to be kind. Know that this is a highly demanding time in your life, and it will get easier. However if and when you can, take the time to be by yourself, it is so helpful, and so worth it.

2. Spend quality time with your kids

I know this sounds so obvious. Most of us are with our kids all day now, so it seems crazy that we wouldn't spend quality time with our kids. But often we can get into a rut, find ourselves doing separate things in separate rooms. Not making the most of the time we have.

Some ideas for quality time:

Baking or cooking with the kids

Dinner together at the table

Read a book together before bed

Ask the kids to learn one new thing they are interested in, and each share with each other before the day's over

Fashion show

Karaoke

Make something together

Do a puzzle or a play a board game

3. Find a new hobby

Have you always been meaning to learn a new language, learn to cook or bake, garden, learn photography? There are so many things you can learn in the convenience of your own home. One of my favorite places is Udemy. I've taken a few courses there, and found it very helpful and encouraging. Courses can be from about $10 and up. I highly recommend it.

But even Youtube is an interesting place to find classes/instruction that may interest you.

4. Find your people

Something that may be worth doing right now, is not only reaching out to the people you know and love, but finding new people you have things in common with. Are there meetup groups in your area? There's one in mine for women entrepreneurs, which is pretty awesome, and no matter where you are on the business journey, they are there to support that. It might also be fun to start a meetup group that interests you if you can't find any.

5. Exercise

Exercise for the single mom, sometimes may feel like a non-necessity, but-it is a necessity. Exercise is what keeps your body going. It's what fuels you. At first, it may feel like exercise is taking energy away, but that should only last for a couple weeks. If you are exercising, you're giving your body some of what it truly needs. We weren't meant to sit all day, and then come home and sit or lay. Our bodies begin to feel achy, old, tired. We have to move them, so they can continue operating at their best. Think of how much more time and energy you could have, and how much better your body can feel, and how much happier you could feel if you exercised. This one is a definite must do.

6. Journal

Journaling is something I began doing years ago, and I love it. If you want someone to talk to, someone to hear your thoughts, your plans, your complaints. You have a willing participant. Not only can you write down how you feel, but you can come back to it and re-read it if it will help you gain more clarity about yourself (and it definitely will help you do that). One of the things I decided to do at one point was speak positively in my journal. I realized I was writing about a lot of negativity, and while it's nice to be able to vent, writing in a consistently negative tone, will have you feeling negative. So after I did that, wrote in a more positive light, I felt better. Then, I looked back at that writing, and realized I was being positive, but then I was also sounding pretty unsure of myself and my situation, so then I decided to write with a more assured tone. I know that when I speak about something with words like, “I don't know, I don't know how, how am I going to do this?” all of those things are unsure. They are limiting me because they are thoughts that assume I don't know what to do.

7. Evaluate life

A journal is a good place to write down your life evaluation. What do you need? What do you want but don't get? How are your relationships? Do you want a significant other? Do you want to take vacations, or change jobs? Do you want to start a new business? Now is a great time to sit down and take a good hard look at your life. What areas need improvement? What areas are you less than satisfied with? It's also a good time to write down what you are grateful for. Because we get more of what we focus on.

8. Practice some self-love

Do some nice little things for yourself. Be kind to yourself, and allow you to do the things you need. Maybe reading a good book, maybe it's giving yourself a manicure, or taking time to watch a funny movie that makes you laugh. Take some time to practice loving yourself. Think about what you do for others you love. You take care of them. Sometimes we get so busy taking care of everybody else, that we don't take good care of ourselves. That won't work. We can't put the oxygen mask on our loved ones, if we don't put it on ourselves first (thank you for that reference Nicole :) ) In other words, you can't give away what you don't have. So if you don't feel love, if you don't feel peace, and you don't feel taken care of, it's only a matter of time before you're frustrated, mad, upset. It's so important to take care of yourself as a mom, and just know that the example you set for them, is what they're going to try for when they're adults. You don't want your child growing up thinking that they should take care of everybody else and completely forget about their own needs, desires or passions. That's just frankly not very healthy.

9. Get rid of stuff

Now is a great time to get rid of clutter. It's interesting to see how easy it is to store it all up, and let it sit. I know that the experts say, if you haven't used it in 6 months, or especially a year, throw it out! I am getting better with this myself. I find it very easy to keep things because I am extremely sentimental. However, it is good to use this time to start asking yourself, “Do I truly need this?” Could I later check this book out from the library? Am I ever actually going to wear this again? Do my kids really need an art project of a fish with all the scales that fell off? It's good to try to be thoughtful about the space we have. Some of us have more space than others, and it makes sense to keep huge boxes of Valentine's decorations, etc because you simply have the space, and will use those things. But for others, the mess, the overwhelm of too much, is just not worth it. One thing I suggest is getting some albums, getting some scrapbooks, and a few nice memento boxes. Currently I have one box of baby mementos for my son, one for my daughter, one box of my son's artwork, one for my daughter, and then one other crate that has some family mementos. It feels so good to reduce the clutter because it frees up space in your mind to thin about more important things. To feel like, okay, that thing I have been meaning to do for years-it's done. I don't have to have it keep coming up in my mind and saying, “oh I'll do that someday.”

10. Get some rest

While it might seem like resting is the last thing on your mind, with everything going on right now, it is very important. Again, how can you take care of anyone else, if you don't take care of yourself? One of my good friends once told me, “when the baby sleeps, you sleep.” I kept trying to get everything done. It bothered me that the house was a mess, and other things felt like they were falling by the wayside, but I took that friends advice. When the baby slept, I slept. I didn't need to every single time, but my nights were so disrupted, I felt constantly tired unless I at least sometimes, took a nap at the same time. Now that my kids are a little older, I don't need to do that. However, even though the kids are a little older, it's still important to get a good nights sleep, to wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day. Being a mom is a hard job, it's an important job. Give yourself a break when you can, enjoy the small things. Don't feel like you have to push so hard to be perfect. Your kids aren't going to remember perfection. They're going to remember if they grew up with a happy, healthy parent, and that's the best gift you can give them.