10 Things I Wish I Knew 10 Years Ago

I began thinking about what kind of article to sit down and write today.  I thought, often, I see articles that promise a list of some kind.  So, I think I'll do it too!

Joking aside, I was thinking back about my life, about things I wish I had known when I was younger.  The following are some observations I've made over the years.  Hope you enjoy!


1.  Don't waste your time on meaningless/terrible jobs
I've had jobs that from the moment I walked in, I knew I was going to hate it.  And then proceeded to stay for 10 years.  Why would someone do that?  You might ask.  Well, there were all kinds of reasons to do it at the time.  It paid "decent," it had flexible hours.  I was able to go to school, and still pay the bills, etc.

The thing I didn't realize, was that all of these flexible hours flexed me right out of a lot of important family time.  I was working weekends/holidays, times I will never get back.  I thought it was helping me get through school, but it was actually holding me back.  When I did finally go back to get my Bachelor's, I was only able to work two days per week, and even then, most of my classes were at night.  It surprised me after I graduated, to find out that a lot of office jobs will allow their employees to go down in hours, or will work out a new schedule with them, because they want their employee to do better, and often times, they want that employee to bring that new found education back to the place where they currently work.

The other thing was, rather than working my way up at a company, I ended up working many dead-end jobs just to pay the bills, when I could've been working my way up at a company that I actually liked/actually promoted from within and so forth.  I never wanted to start at the bottom, because frankly the bottom pay at any position was paying lower than what I was making in customer service jobs.  However, I still had to take that plunge at one part.  And yes, it was hard at first.  But now I am so happy I did it.  I get my weekends, my holidays, and I get to work with people I love, and make more than I've ever made.

2.  Don't waste your time in a relationship that's not going anywhere
Sometimes it's hard to know if you're doing this.  It's great to do things in the name of love.  To be loyal, respect your mate, stay with them through thick and thin, and I think there's not enough of that going around these days.  The thing you shouldn't do, is hang with the same person for 10 years because it's comfortable and you have some good times.  That is a waste of time.  The person you fall for, and who falls for you, should not make you feel like you're trying to cram a round peg into a square hole.  It should be meaningful, passionate, loving.  It should never be toxic, abusive, or something that's done for convenience and nothing else.

Imagine finding the love of your life.  How you will look at him or her?  How you will treat him, and how he will treat you?  Imagine sharing a wonderful life together, as you support and help ONE ANOTHER.  (Not just you carrying him/her.)  Isn't that kind of love worth waiting for?  Isn't that type of love worth seeking out until you find it?


3.  Don't put your dreams on the back-burner
If you have a dream, work on it.  Focus on it.  Think about it, and what you want it to transform into.  We have dreams put in our hearts for a reason.  It is what secretly drives us.  Don't let others opinions force you to give up on your dreams-ever.  It's part of why we're here.  To see our dreams live.
Sometimes it seems like we have forever and a day, but we really don't.  We never know how long we have to see it through.  We are here today and gone tomorrow.  Life really is so precious.  Don't let your dreams be stifled by the day to day.


4.  Don't waste time with people/places/things that are not lifting you up
These are all time wasters.  People, places, things, that take up your time, fill up your space, and don't allow other more wonderful and powerful things to take the place.  These things/people are filling a space that could be filled by something much better, but there's no room in your life because it's being filled up with something else.  It can be hard to get rid of things, and even harder to get rid of people.

5.  Life follows what you focus on
What we focus on is SO important.  I'm paraphrasing from the book, Think and Grow Rich, basically Napoleon Hill says that you don't get rich by focusing on poverty, and you don't become well by focusing on disease.  We can tend to focus on what we DON'T have and don't want.  Especially when we are faced with commercials, ads, shows that let us see how much we do not have.  We are constantly being bombarded with images of better cars, better bodies, better vacations, better homes.  Instead of using these images as ideas for what we may like to have down the road.  We stop at, "well, I don't have this right now, so my life is bad."  It's a talent to be able to say, right now, I am going to be so grateful for what I have right now.  Then, in a few hours, I'm going to work on a project that will help get me that promotion I'm focusing on getting.  Be grateful for what you have, but spend time on working to make it better.

6.  Don't worry about what you want to do for a living
This can be a place of constant struggle, especially for those trying to decide what they want to major in, in college.  Now I'll admit, if you do know what you want to major in, and stick with that, it is helpful.  But it isn't going to hold you back if you choose the wrong thing.  Many people choose to go back to get a master's degree.  One of my friends took childhood education classes, and then went on to be a lawyer.  Sometimes you do have to go back and take some classes that will lead you to your new career goal, but no matter what you will have to get the general education out of the way no matter what you do.  The other thing that can help is to volunteer.  If you don't know what you like, you aren't going to find it by sitting at the same job day after day, going home and doing the same activities.  Find something you're really passionate about.  Find out what you can do to assist or volunteer at a place that you love.  You may find out that starting a new business would be best, or that the company you love is hiring, and they like to hire people who are volunteers.  It is a great experience, and it can also let you know ahead of time if you are actually going to really hate that career path.  It can be a good way to weed out some things the easy way, rather than spending so much time getting a degree only to find out you will hate that career in the end.

7.  Spend time on spirituality
I know that it's a faux pas these days to talk about religion.
It is important to feel connected.  Whatever that looks like for you.  Religion is not a bad thing, unless it is used in a negative way by people.  It can be a beautiful, wonderful thing.  But it has to fit you, what you care about, and what you believe is right.  Don't believe what others believe just because they say it's right.  Getting involved, and being a part of a church, reading and listening to spiritual scriptures and stories is something I would not trade, and has been a very important part of my growth as a human.

8.  Forgive others, and let go
It can be hard to forgive and let go.  Think about this though, what good is it doing you?  Ask yourself this, and really think about it-what good is holding on to the past doing for you?  It is good to remember certain situations.  We are wired to want to say, ow, that hurt, how do I never do that again?  And that's great.  But when it leads us to hold things in our mind, in our heart, allow it to tear at us, allow us to never love again, or never trust again.  We are misusing that ability.  If it's in the past, leave it there.  If it's something you never want to experience again, focus on what you DO want to happen.  It can be hard to get over the pain, but don't let the pain jade you.  Even if you can't physically tell the person you forgive them, write a letter, or mentally forgive them, pray for them even.  It's only hurting you in the end.  Forgiveness is freeing, let go, and free your spirit.

9.  Don't worry about what everybody thinks
Especially at a young age, many of us worry about what others think.  Luckily for us, as we age, that tends to go away ;)
What do others think about you?  Is it less than helpful or encouraging?  People can kind of try their best to put us in a box that's comfortable for them.  For them.  Not for us.  We decide what's best for us.  After all, who knows you better than yourself?  People bully, people tease, and make fun.  That's their problem, not yours.  If you have someone who is giving you a hard time in this way, know two things 1. They are most likely doing it to several other people and 2.  They are very unhappy and trying to steer attention away from themselves (even their own attention).


10.  Forgive yourself and let go
This one can be hardest of all.  I can only speak from my own experience, but there have been numerous occasions where I have beat myself up for something I said, something I did, or didn't do.  But what I've learned, is that I did the best I could with the information I had at the time.  I've done some really stupid stuff, but I'm not going to let those things define me and you shouldn't either.  How many of us do completely idiotic/stupid things?  Everyone.  Everyone.  Don't let that thing be your identity.  Don't let it define who you are.  You are not that thing.  Learn from your mistake and move on.  If you don't learn from the mistake, and you keep doing the thing over and over, only to keep getting hurt, then stop for a moment.  Take a deep look at yourself.  How do you feel about yourself?  What might you be trying to avoid or run away from?  It is in the challenges that we grow.  It is in hard times, and even sometimes bad choices that we grow.  The thing that I can say, of all my own bad choices, is that it allowed me to have extra sympathy for others.  It allowed me to realize how far from perfect I am, and that others are sometimes fumbling their way through life too.  Making better choices means I know myself better-what I want and what I need, and what I don't want.  I couldn't have gotten there without tripping up sometimes.  I couldn't have gotten there without ever making any mistakes.  So I forgive myself for the stupid mistakes I made. I pray for forgiveness, and hope that it can be used for good somehow.  And I hope the same for you :)