5 Ways We Get Better with Age

A couple months ago, I went to a party for a friend who was turning 65. I was one of the youngest people at the party, and have recently been feeling a little uneasy about my own age because, well, I'm middle-aged. It feels weird to say that because that's not how I feel inside. Anyhow, I enjoyed this party so much. People were fun, they were kind. It was a party where they played songs and sang together. Nobody got crazy or did anything stupid. They talked about books, movies, music, travel, and things they believed in. A great time was had by all. While at this party, I began to really think about the way we so devalue age in our culture. That getting older is something to fear, that being old is not fun, and brings along with it aches and pains, and sometimes even depression. However this party completely opened my eyes to a new truth-we get better with age. We get better with age for quite a few reasons. I have listed some of these below:

1. We know more of what we want

We know more of what we want, partly because we have spent a long time figuring out what we don't want. Then at some point, we realize what we do want. Who do we want to spend our time with? What do we want to give our time to? How do we want to show up in life? These things all become more and more apparent as we age. Do we enjoy travel? Do we want to learn how to play an instrument? Some of these things we realize young, but as we age, we learn more and more about what we love, where we want to give our energy, and what we ultimately want out of life.

2. We are more accepting of who we are

We accept ourselves more. Not because we are more beautiful, or thinner than we were when we were 20, but because we have learned that the expectation to be perfect is fiction. We've learned that a life worth living is better lived when we accept who we are. Part of that acceptance is seeing the things we did wrong, improving upon those things, and maybe even making apologies for the way we once were. There's a certain comfort that comes with age. Maybe it's that we don't care as much what other people think of us. That is a common bi-product of getting older-and it's a lovely one. Because who wants to feel like they're always trying to please every one else? For what reason? It isn't their life, it's mine! So I want to accept who I am, work on being the best I can be, and accept myself for who I am, imperfections and all.

3. We've learned how to eliminate toxic people from our lives

Some of us spent our youth surrounded by people and situations that were toxic. Some of us learn early that it hurts to be burned, while others of us take a little while longer. As we age, I think we see the need to protect ourselves from harm, and learn to better love ourselves, so that we don't find ourselves in these impossible situations. Life IS too short to spend around people who only want to weigh us down, tell us how we don't measure up, etc. People like that, I feel sorry for them, but I also don't have to waste my time trying to please them, or spend time that I could be spending with someone who loves me the way I am and lifts me up.

4. We are less afraid to follow what we are passionate about

Some may feel, and I have caught myself believing this way-that as we age, there are less and less things we can be a pro at or passionate about. For example, you don't see a woman of 40 going out to become a ballerina, or a man of 50 deciding he wants to be a professional hockey player. It feels like getting older forces certain decisions to fall by the wayside because we are no longer able to choose certain professions or passions. But there is so much more in life to be passionate about. Here are some examples of opportunities/passions that don't go away with age: being more involved at church, the love of music, being a writer, going back to school, learning a new language, traveling, learning a new dance, hosting parties, teaching others, reading life-changing books, and the list goes on.

5. We are more likely to help others

As we age, I find that people are more likely to help others. We don't rage against authority nearly as much because we find that the true way to help others, is to get involved. To do the work ourselves, and hope that others will join us. I know so many people who at the age of 65 or older are giving their time and energy to help a cause they truly believe in. We figured out a long time ago, that life isn't all about us, and that being angry with authority does little aside from making us more angry. We are able to help, we are able to change the world as we know it, and the older we get, the more we realize this change comes in the way of giving our time to things we believe in the most. There are ways to volunteer, or work for companies that help others through the process of dying comfortably, who help children that don't have food to eat or a bed to sleep in, companies that help teach adults how to read, or help build a home for those in need. There are so many wonderful ways to work, teach, or volunteer for companies that are truly making a difference in this world, and I find that, as we age, we see the importance of helping a cause. That to me is one of the biggest things we can do with our life, we are meant to help others. This is so obvious in the way we feel after we have helped someone else, it's the best feeling in the world.

So to sum it up, don't be afraid to get older. You'll find that you love yourself more, love others more, help others more. Life is about figuring out more of who we are and what we want. I had a psychology professor once say that we see older men and women as so sweet, or so grumpy. She said that as we age, we become more of who we are, so if we were sweet as a youth, we are extra sweet. I'd have to agree in the way that we do become more of who we are, but I'd also like to add, that it's not too late to change the grumpiness into thoughtfulness. It's not too late to change the selfishness into selflessness. There are so many opportunities to get better with age.